In a world inundated with self-help jargon and the pressure to find one’s calling, the common advice to “find your purpose” can feel more like a burden than a beacon of hope. Life coaches willing to challenge the status quo and provide alternative pathways for their clients are becoming increasingly valuable in the personal development realm.
Indeed, as Paulo Coelho eloquently expressed, “Maybe life isn’t so much about becoming anything but unbecoming everything you thought you were to be who you truly are.” These words resonate deeply with anyone who’s grappled with expectations—external or self-imposed.
In this post, we’ll explore why the pursuit of finding one’s purpose might be misguided and what life coaches can advocate for instead to guide their clients towards deeper self-understanding and fulfillment.
The Myth of a Singular Purpose
Society often romanticizes the idea that everyone has one grand purpose in life, a singular mission that once discovered, will lead to ultimate contentment. However, this notion can trap individuals in an eternal search, leaving them feeling restless and perpetually unsatisfied when that elusive sense of purpose doesn’t materialize.
For life coaches, it’s essential to dismantle the myth that a unified purpose is the key to happiness, and instead highlight the beauty of a multifaceted life. Encourage clients to evolve, pivot, and explore various interests without the pressure of tying them down to a single defining purpose.
The Process of Unbecoming
Unbecoming everything you thought you were may seem like an unsettling process, but it contains the seed of true personal growth. As a life coach, facilitating clients on a journey of self-discovery involves peeling back the layers of societal expectations and self-limiting beliefs.
Guide your clients to question narratives that no longer serve them and to release the roles they’ve outgrown. By shifting the focus from seeking something external, such as a purpose, to shedding misconceptions, clients can begin to understand their intrinsic value and find joy in simply being.
Finding Alignment Over Purpose
Rather than asking, “What is my purpose?” encourage your clients to seek alignment with their core values and what feels meaningful to them in the present moment. Life isn’t static, and what aligns with one at one stage of life might change over time.
Promote the pursuit of alignment as a more flexible and forgiving goal. It’s a quest that can adapt to life’s many turns and provides a framework that honors growth and change.
What to Do Instead of Finding Your Purpose
Here are some actionable steps life coaches can implement to help clients move away from the pressure of finding a purpose:
- Cultivate Curiosity: Encourage exploration and the pursuit of new hobbies, interests, and knowledge without attachment to outcomes.
- Define Core Values: Help clients identify and live by their values, making decisions that resonate with these principles.
- Encourage Presence: Teach mindfulness techniques to allow clients to find fulfillment in the present, rather than always looking to the future for happiness.
- Advocate for Authenticity: Validate clients’ unique qualities and experiences, and support them in living a life that’s true to themselves, not one based on societal blueprints.
- Create Space for Reflection: Provide tools for clients to journal or reflect on their life experiences, helping them to uncover insights about themselves free from external narratives.
Conclusion
Life coaching isn’t about directing clients toward a manufactured sense of purpose; it’s about empowering them to peel back the layers of their experiences and beliefs to reveal their authentic selves. Facilitate the process of unbecoming to help clients build lives aligned with their inner truth, allowing them to find fulfillment in existence itself rather than chasing an abstract concept of purpose.
By guiding your clients through this inner work, you not only help them forge a path of genuine self-realization but also disrupt the narrative that a single, fixed purpose is the panacea to life’s uncertainties. Remember, as they shed outdated perceptions of identity, they emerge into the multifaceted and dynamic individuals they were always meant to become.
“Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.” ― Sylvia Plath
It is in wanting nothing but genuine self-expression that one might just find everything they need.
